HUG MISSED

 

    It was a wild Chennai afternoon and I was just out of my lab, I look outside and it is hot as fuck. I switch on my phone and see four missed calls and 8 messages from her. I knew she was going home for three days and I didn’t even have the chance of meeting her before she left. With very low hopes I call her and ask where she is, she tells me that she is near the main gate of our campus. My heart lit up and I asked her to convince the cab driver to stop the car for a while. I wanted to look at her face for the last time before she disappeared for the next three days. I cycled 2 km in the next 5 mins just so I could get to see her for 10 seconds. After I reached the main gate, seeing her for 10 seconds seemed very less so I told her I would come with her until the airport, I sensed some happiness in her. Ahh I have finally seen her and she is damn beautiful.

   For the next 5-10 mins we talk about my lab and some other stuff and then I have realized we will reach the airport within half an hour so my heart starts counting minutes. I was sad deep down knowing that she was leaving for the weekend. Despite all this I was talking to her happily knowing we both had some time alone. We went on and on for the next 30 minutes which felt like nothing. Then we got down at the airport and I took out her luggage and then I realized that she still has time left before she goes inside. I calculate and there is roughly 20-25 mins left before she can go inside, I look up and thank god for the extra time he has given me.

    We were waiting outside and talking about what she is going to do during her stay at home and I was hoping she might tell her she would miss me, little did she know how much I will be missing her. We were sitting and talking and suddenly I got up and started roaming around. She looks at me surprised.

    A thought has crossed my mind, should I hug her when she leaves? I had no answer. We have never hugged before this, I know she wouldn’t mind if I hugged her but something in me stopped me. I didn’t have the courage. I cycled for 2 km in 5 minutes, I accompanied her to the airport, I was waiting until she went inside and I was making her laugh on the way. I felt I’ve earned a hug. Deep I knew she also wanted to hug but I wasn’t sure. I was walking around her and talking, I was controlling my urge to hug her. I have met her a hundred times before, we have gone out a hundred times before, we spent hours together but never have I felt this much urge to hug her.

    Time was running a 100 m race. She had to go inside and get her boarding pass. My urge was growing exponentially with time. I felt weak and I thought I would feel strong after a hug. Never have I felt hugging a person was this hard before in my life. Not at least until that moment. She now gets up and looks at me and I thought she would hug me. She leans forward and places her hand on my shoulder. I was so badly hoping she would hug me, instead she took her bag from me which I was carrying all this time. I was disappointed tears started to form inside but I was covering them with a smile. She took her backpack from me and her trolley which was lying down.

    We speak some final words and then she starts walking towards the departure gate. I mustered up a bit of courage and I called her. She turned back and waited for me while I ran towards her. As soon as I came considerably close all the courage in me drained out. I asked if she had a water bottle. I wanted to prolong the time so that I could spend more time with her. I asked If she was carrying any ID card to show it to the security guard and finally I showed her the place where they gave out the boarding passes, then I bid her goodbye as she left. She went inside and looked at me through the glass windows of and waved her hands, I waved back with a sad smile on my face. I kept looking at her dreaming about the hypothetical hug until she disappeared in the crowd of people. I booked another cab for myself to go back. On the way I cursed myself I literally cried for not hugging her. That was the first time when I realized what a hug would mean.

You are sweet, you are naughty and you are nice,
When I’m with you, I feel like I’m in paradise.

To all my problems you were the only drug,
Yet I was too afraid to ask you for a hug.